... to not let the darkness, the nightmare of the past, cover
the brightness of my future. The truth of sexual abuse. .
.it’s painful and forbidden to talk about. It’s a taboo
subject for most people, and a "do not enter or talk about
zone." This taboo has locked me in darkness for all my
life - causing havoc - affecting, and damaging me in every
The life I now live, how I manage or handle relationships,
my sense of trust and security, my lack of faith in human
kind. . . has scarred me for life. But, before I continue with
my story, I am so thankful for having the greatest husband
any woman could ask for - my foundation, my rock and my
hero. And, most importantly, the greatest father to my
wonderful kids. This relationship with my partner in life,
has given me a sense of self-worth and confidence.
Elements necessary in order to share this ordeal with
you. . .
Because I am from a culture that fails to accept the reality
of child abuse, because of my personal shame, and
because I was afraid that my family would be mad at me,
disown me, stop loving me - for years, I swept everything
under the rug. As a result, I lived a very lonely and bottled
up existence. Only I, God himself, and other victims can
relate to and understand what I am about to say.
IT’S NOT OUR FAULT. NEVER WAS, AND NEVER
WILL BE. . .
I realize now that I never brought shame to my family, or
culture. But, by every conceivable manner, it was the sick
predator that brought shame - to human-kind.
I hear too often. . . from the victims, dear friends, people
who are close to me. . . "Oh, I just blocked it out of my
Often, I also hear. . . "It almost happened.”
Many of my friends and acquaintances share their
“almost” stories with me, and they act very similar to
those who have experienced the real thing. So, you have
to ask yourself, was this really an “almost”, or is the
storyteller trying to gauge my reaction? Is he/she in
denial, or in the process of healing? Regardless,
“almost” can be equally as damaging, and the incident
can NOT be dismissed.
SEXUAL ABUSE COMES IN MANY FORMS. . .
. . .and different degrees, and all done by different people
who play different roles in our life. I doubt any story or
situation is alike. Despite the who, how, or depth of the
incident... A CHILDHOOD WAS ROBBED. A life is
damaged, and the effects and the scars last a LIFETIME.
It wasn't until I had my own kids. . .held my babies in my
arms. . .did it truly hit home for me. It was then, and only
then, that I knew I had a purpose in my life. To be a
mother, and to do whatever I could to protect my babies.
One thing I'm so certain and sure about
was my promise that if any one should harm my children
in any way - Off to JAIL you go!
MY STORY. . .
Until now I haven't shared my story publicly. I was
molested by two different men growing up. Neither of
them were strangers.
One fondled my breast in a hotel room, and in a movie
theatre. (It can happen anywhere!!)
And the other... a guy who was a family friend at the
time. He would tell me to touch his private parts.
Afterwards, he would take me to a toy store to buy me
any toy I wanted - as if it was a “good thing” I was doing
and he was rewarding me.
Nobody Had Ever Taught Me About This!
Unaware of what was right or wrong. . . I just went along
with it - doing everything I was told to do. No one had
ever talked to me about sexual abuse. No one
taught me that I was not to ever touch anyone's
private parts, and in turn, no one had the right to
As time passed, I had a sense something was wrong. . .
I opened up with a friend, telling her about the situation.
She knew it was wrong and told the authorities. The
abuser was prosecuted, but ultimately set free. How did
I was under pressure to change my story when I went to
court. I was told to tell the judge that I made the
accusation because I wanted attention. I was scared and
confused. I changed my story and the predator went free.
Thinking back, I should have told the truth in court. I was
just a child, and I didn't know what to do.
Now, more than 20 years later, I have written a book to
help parents start a dialogue with their children. Most
importantly, it arms the children with an easy to remember
message, U Touch I Tell. I believe that knowledge,
awareness and prevention helps insure a safer tomorrow.
I ask you to join in this team, because:
We've been avoiding the awful reality too long.
Kids need to know what to do.
Parents need to know what to tell them and to protect
Predators need to know they will be reported and
We need to make it happen.
Our kids need us.
If you would like to share your story please click here.